有限度的幸福 VS 無窮無盡的幸福 （上）

有些人說，這世上的幸福是只有一定的額度的，當這世上某地方的某人變得更幸福時，代表另一個地方的某個人變得更不幸了。

會忽然想起這個想法，是在上星期在家中準備宵夜時，當時我走進了廚房在思考吃甚麼好時，發現了一隻壁虎扒在我家的電熱水壺後的牆壁上。我一直認為壁虎是居家益蟲，雖然其貌不揚，但聽說牠是靠吃小強維生的，也不會滋養細菌，所以我家對壁虎一直都奉行不殺主義的，我想除非牠爬上我們家人頭上啦。而這只壁虎小哥，雖然沒有甚麼根據，但我主觀認為牠應該是之前寄居在我家冷氣機上的，因為在冷氣機雖然安全，但真的「搵唔到肉食」，在我們不為意的幾個晝與夜間，慢慢的讓牠爬行到我家廚房的那個位置了。當時還不為意，事後想想這非一般的成就真的讓人佩服牠的毅力。

就在這吃小強的壁虎小哥爬到放餐具的抽屜後，我也把我的注意力放回未來的宵夜上。我拉開放碗盤的抽屜，接著就看到「牠」了！那個油亮亮、暗褐色的身體，就是那神憎鬼厭的蟑螂啊！牠就我家的碗盤間爬啊爬的，甚至有點囂張的把頭露出來，一副「你吹得我脹啊」的表情！當時我的選擇有：

A) 去找Biokiller回來毒死牠
B) 拿拖鞋拍死牠
C) 徒手捉著牠的觸鬚，生擒！
D) None of the above.

首先不要考慮成功機率，C是絕對不可能的！A雖然大概能成功殺死牠，卻會付上污染全家食具這嚴重的後果。至於B，我不認為自己有能在一大堆碗碟間捕捉到移動中的小強的動態視力，所以也駁回。最後我選擇了D－我默默的關上了抽屜，決定吃了一餐宵夜也不是甚麼壞事。

至於那格抽屜，請各位關心我家的朋友不用操心，本人在此聲明，事後我家沒有人使用不潔餐具吃飯。

在我關上抽屜時，其實我心中打著的算盤，就讓剛剛看到壁虎小哥去了結那小強吧。當然，我不是蟻俠，不能和蛇蟲鼠蟻溝通，去通知小哥那裹有小強大餐（就算可以，也應該要叫「壁虎俠」吧！雖然感覺也蠻酷的）就算毫無根據，我仍然相信這壁虎可以憑藉自己的本能，找到今晚的糧食的。

如事者過了幾天，我沒有再見過壁虎或者小強。事後想想，其實這正是「幸福是有額度」這一說法的最佳寫照吧：若果壁虎成功找到小哥并把牠消化掉，除代表我家的害蟲少了一只外，也讓一個生命（壁虎）不用餓死得以延續，卻同時是另一個生命（小強）的終結；相反，若小強最終逃過一劫，代表牠可繼續苟且存活，代價卻是壁虎另一個捱餓的晚上，和我們家繼續忍受著小強陰霾。

現實生活其實也如是，當一個人得到物質、機會、功勞時，往往代表世上某個角落的人失去了這些事物。在這情況下，幸福的確是遵循著微觀經濟學的看法：「人生就是在有限物質間追求無限的慾望。」

要注意的是，這個事實是以「幸福＝擁有」的價值觀為大前提才會成立的，就像我那幾位教通識科的朋友說的，在贊成或反對一個論點前，第一個需要問的問題永遠是：「What is」。所以，我們需要搞清楚，到底幸福是否能和擁有劃上等號呢？所謂的幸福，能否有另外的形態（Alternative）呢？

Regret of the lion (Based on the Greek fable)

I was resting on the bank of a river, preparing myself to swim across it.

“Mr. Lion, could you do my a favor?” A voice asked politely. I looked around but could not see anyone.

“Right down here! Mr. Lion,” the voice spoke a bit louder this time. I looked down and found a little scorpion standing beside my right front limb. Unlike his voice, his sharp claws and pointy tail reminded me what a dangerous creature he truly was.

“Oh, how may I help you, little fellow?” I replied gently. You see, it turned out that I was no ordinary lion you may see on the TV. I was quite an intelligent being. Not only that I could speak in human languages, but also…

“Who are you talking to, Mr. Lion?” The scorpion asked with doubt.

“Never mind. What did you say again?”

“I was wondering if you could be kind-hearted and carry me on your back across the river,” the scorpion requested.

“It is just a piece of cake for me. The only thing that worries me is what will happen if you sting me with your tail while we are in the middle of the river. You know, your poison is really deadly even for me,” I raised out my concerns.

“Of course not! If I hurt you on the way, we will both end up dead for sure. Why would I do such non-sense?” The little fellow explained. He surely had a point. Therefore, I allowed him to stay on my back while I started swimming across the river.

We chatted a little on our way. I was really enjoying myself since it was my first time to meet a scorpion. Perhaps we could become friends and travel around. Then, one day someone encountered us and found us amusing and wrote a fable about us…

All of a sudden, someone stabbed me on my back! What happened? Right after that, I started to lose feeling of my back. I was not stabbed. I was stung! The deadly scorpion stung me from behind!
“What in the world are you doing?” I shouted.

“I just stung you,” the scorpion answered with a monotone. I could not see him on my back. I really wanted to know how he looked right now.

“You know that now we are going to drown to dead, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know.”

I could not understand! The paralysis was now all over my body. I burst out my last words, “Then why are you doing it?”

“I am sorry, Mr. Lion,” the scorpion murmured. “I wish I could do it differently, but it is my instinct. I cannot resist it.”

Did the scorpion really say those words, or was it just my illusion? No one would ever know, as both of us were sinking. Sinking to the bottom of the river…